No, don't go there. Even if you're on the optimistic side of the outlook-spectrum I wouldn't suggest you allow space for the pessimist's outcome to come into play. I understand thinking positively can create different results (depending on the situation) but I don't think the phrasing of "It could be worse" is the best way to depict any situation. All that does is allow those little thoughts into your mind of HOW it could be worse. What would be the next step in this awful situation? Yuck! Don't even go there. Deal with the situation as it is and do your best to brush off and move forward. Easier said than done, no one knows that more than I do (actually, that may be an exaggeration, but you get the jist). One thing I've been learning most lately as life throws me new twists is this: Don't focus on the things you can't control. Figure out what you can do to alleviate the situation as best you can and let the rest play itself out without your concern. Roll with the punches! Why? Because if you resist, it will only hurt worse. If you've ever been punched by someone you'll understand this metaphor... if you haven't, let me try to explain it in girly-layman's terms.
Ok, now imagine you just painted your room and everything looks perfect and as you are walking out you accidentally drop the bucket of remaining paint all over the door frame and carpet. If you're like me, a surge of anger and adrenaline starts flowing through your veins and you instinctively go to punch something (kind of like when I laugh - I hit.. I just can't control my arms in moments of excitement). Would you rather hit the doorframe or the drywall? Why? Yup, you guessed it... The doorframe is harder than the drywall so if you have feminine wrists you would rather hit the drywall (that can always be patched). The doorframe doesn't give, the drywall does.
I've been trying (sometimes unsuccessfully) to apply this metaphor to my life: choose the outlook and responses that give a little so the blow doesn't hurt too badly. Avoid stressing the things that you can't control like other people's behavior. You can control how you react and what you do, but you can't control what other people decide to do and how they do it. I know it's hard (believe me, I know) but sometimes you have to just let things happen and adjust your reactions to them.
If you're going to think further than "the now" then I suggest you replace "It could be worse" with "It's going to be okay". Of course, you're not sure if it actually will be okay but if you go into it with the mindset that it will then your actions will reflect that and you're outcome will be a direct result of your motion to make things okay. So now, I have a favor to ask of you all....
Please remind me that I said this! I'm a natural pessimist and my mind always goes to the worst scenario and I need help staying positive. Just because I've been enlightened by this new information doesn't mean I've been able to ditch my trusty "Hope for the best but prepare for the worst" life motto.
Apparently, that motto hasn't proven too successful in my life. All the good things I have are not a direct result of preparing for the worst... instead, they've come from taking chances and hoping for the best. So here I am, trying to proclaim a new life motto for myself in tragic situations as simply: "Hope for the best; it's going to be okay". I'm sure as life throws me new curveballs, I will continue to update my motto but I will make a point to continually become more and more optimistic and shoot for "great", "amazing", "outstanding" and "unreal".
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| The road less traveled is always the more exciting one. |
