I'M IN LOVE!

I'm in love and I don't care who knows it! lol.

He makes my heart grow bigger and fuller every day! It's amazing! I never knew that was possible... His point of view and the way he thinks through rough situations really amazes me. I'm kind of jealous!

Yesterday was a really rough day. I asked him if an In-N-Out shake would make him happy and he said "Yes... but you know what would REALLY make me happy?"

His response to my innocent "What's that, baby?" was the sweetest response I've ever heard in my life! Long story short.... I make him happy! Thank goodness! I knew he made me happy and I know that I make him happy, but even in the worst situations and the most stressful times, he still sees me as a blessing in his life! I could not be more grateful!

He's the sweetest guy and he knows exactly how to put his feelings into words.... I'm so jealous!!! All I can ever say back is "You make me so happy! I love you so much!" but that doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about him and how he makes me feel.

I've never met a better man and a more caring father. He's unbelievable. He misses me every time we're not together and lets me know every time his coworkers try to "hook him up" with a young pretty girl, that he doesn't want or need anyone else because I'm everything he's ever wanted! Wow.... I'm someone's dream girl? SWEET! ;-)

Now about the caring father part.... It breaks my heart when he talks about his boy because he misses him so much. I know he wishes he could be there every day to drop him off at school and pick him up, take him places, and hang out with him at home. Even I miss him when he's not with us, and I'm only his daddy's girlfriend! I wish I knew how I could make my man's situation better (everything going on in his life) but the truth is... I have no control over any of it. When work sucks, all I can say is... "I'm sorry, baby." When he misses his boy, "I'm sorry, baby". When he's stressed out beyond belief about money, "I'm sorry, baby." It's not enough... I feel helpless every time he's unhappy but he always makes sure I know that I make everything bearable for him.

I WISH THERE WERE MORE I COULD DO! :(

Sometimes....

“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over.”

• Sometimes things work out the way you wanted them to all along.

• Sometimes two people have to live two completely different lives before life brings them together and blends them perfectly.

• Sometimes you have to be patient to see the beauty in disaster.

• Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good, the hard with the easy, the ugly with the beautiful. But never should the previous overshadow the latter.

• Sometimes you have to go slower than you want to because others aren't ready.

• Sometimes you can't do anything but smile to show how you feel.

• Sometimes you don't have control over a situation, but knowing someone will always be there to catch you when you fall makes it bearable.

• Sometimes life is so perfect you worry about the inevitable downfall.... Don't let this rule your everyday life.

• Sometimes people move in and out of your life to show you how special the ones who stick around really are.

• Sometimes you have to stop and appreciate what you have before you set your sights on something else.

• Sometimes you have to look at other people's lives to realize what you've done with yours isn't so bad (sorry, but it's true). 

• Sometimes words just aren't enough.

• Sometimes I'm so happy I get a rush of energy and want to scream at the top of my lungs!

• Sometimes love rules all.

Missing Pieces

Have you ever been so happy you don’t know how to describe it? Well, that’s where I am right now. For you, the exclusive hundreds that are now able to see my blog, I will try to explain my feelings…

My friends are amazing – reconnecting with those I lost touch with so long ago, the few that have managed to stick around through my transformation between college kid to working adult, the ones who are always there when you need them even when you haven’t spoken in quite some time, and those who you can talk to on a daily basis and not care about whether you have something new to say. I want you all to know that I have a space reserved for you in my mind and heart, even if we don’t see each other as often as we’d like!

My family is irreplaceable – I will always be mommy’s best friend, daddy’s little girl and brother’s shoulder to lean on. We all may disagree, disapprove, and annoy each other… but for you, I am ALWAYS here: emotionally, financially, spiritually, and physically! I love all my family in some way but these three exemplify the meaning of unconditional love. No matter how many mistakes, wrong decisions, stubborn hissy-fits I make, my parents have always been there for me and will always continue to be there for me. My brother and I, being brother and sister, argue and bicker all the time, but when it comes down to it I would drop everything in the world to help him and to be where he needs me to be. Whether or not that’s true in his case is a different story. But regardless, I would be there anyway.

My boyfriend is unbelievable – he handles me in a way that no one else could. Although, he’s still getting to know me and my needs when I’m upset or sick, he still shows me that he cares about me. We all know I’m not the easiest person to deal with, but he is patient, kind and understanding. Especially, lately with all this drama we’ve been dealing with, he has been sensitive and respectful to me. He understands my frustrations with the situation but he includes me in his life (no matter how dramatic) and he is learning that I can be more submissive when I feel like I am 1) included, 2) that my opinion matters, 3) being defended when necessary, and 4) not the one who cares the most about the situation. Let me explain what I mean.

1)      I want to feel included in whatever is going on in his life. I want to know what is making him upset, what is being said and what he wants to do about it.

2)      I don’t want to be brushed off when I make a suggestion. I want my opinion to be awarded its due diligence and to be considered for action.

3)      If someone attacks me or my relationship with him, I want to know that he is defending me against whoever the attacker is. This is where I had doubts a few months ago, but it is obvious to me now that he is defending me. He does it in his own way, and sometimes I’m not satisfied with the method, but nevertheless he is doing it. Lately, he’s been more vocal about my position in his life (to me as well as others) and for that I am very grateful.

4)      I don’t want to be the one who gets heated about a situation when I shouldn’t be the one who is most affected by it. I’m not saying I won’t get heated either way, because we all know I will… I am, after all, a very passionate person. I don’t want to be affected by something so strongly when the other, whom it was directed towards, acts as if he’s not affected. When this happens, I feel the need to overcompensate and as a result, I overreact. However, if the reactions are spread out throughout both parties, I compose myself a little better and start thinking more clearly. Obviously, this is something I need to work on…

He’s amazing because through all this crap he deals with on a daily basis (the stress, the anger, the sadness) he still manages to make me feel like I am one of the things that makes him happiest. I will never be #1 (and I don’t expect to be, in his case) but I am very happy with where he’s put me over the most recent few months.

Everyone will have their arguments and disagreements with the ones they love, but the important thing is to be reminded of their love for you and to be patient. After all,

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Now back to how I feel:

I feel like I am floating on a cloud. Not the dark, thin, stretched out clouds but the white, fluffy, puffy clouds; one where you find baby angels with wings and unicorns prancing from one to the other. I feel all twisted up inside. My stomach feels like butterflies are flapping their wings against my insides giving me that weird itchy feeling that you just can’t scratch. No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop smiling. The fact that I try to stop smiling actually makes me smile!

I feel so lucky to have such great people in my life. I know now, more than ever, that quality is MUCH more important than quantity. I’ve always known this, but everyone gets caught up from time to time. I’ve shaved it down to the proud selection that makes me happiest and shows me that they need me as much as I need them. Even those who are my “friends” but we haven’t gotten that close, I know that we have what we have and it’s good enough for the both of us. Everyone needs that close knit circle but that doesn’t mean those surrounding few aren’t important.

I have enough love to spread around so if I seem oddly happy or lovey dovey with you, it’s because I appreciate you! I appreciate who you are and the things that you do. I also appreciate that you accept me for who I am and the things that I do. So thanks! Thanks for putting a smile on my face, even if it’s just once. I hope I can return the favor!

"We are all a little weird and life is a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." -Dr. Seuss

The Boyfriend Prayer

Sent this to my boyfriend and he thought it was pretty cute. And since he actually liked it.... I figure I can share it with you guys too so you can give it to your boyfriends!!! hehe!

THE BOYFRIEND PRAYER

Heavenly God, full of grace,

Bless my boyfriend's sexy face

Bless his hair the way it curls

Keep him away from other girls.

Bless his little nose and toes

And keep him safe wherever he goes.

Bless his arms so big and strong

Help him keep them where they belong.

Bless his eyes that shine like stars

And keep his mind on me and cars.

Bless his body the way it smells

If my dad finds out he'll give me hell

I tell you Lord, he isn't shy,

He's got his faults but so do I
Bless him, Lord, because he's my guy.